Parenting guru, Susan Epstein poses a critical question relating to your parent teenager relationship. She asks: “what should you do when you are having an argument with your teenager and they just walk away?” Do you yell at them? Do you admonish them? Do you just stand there and just hope to God they come back and apologize?
Epstein argues that when your teenager walks away, she has assumed control. Each time you let her walk away, unchecked, her power grows.
Epstein’s has a three part answer to her own question.
1. Be silent. Do not speak.
2. Follow your teenager wherever she goes. Do not wait for a second.
3. If and when your teenager stops, sit down beside them. Only speak to them when they decide to speak to you in a calm and respectful tone. Be okay with receiving verbal abuse or being questioned for your motives. Remember that silence is your asset.
This strategy is rooted in the non violent philosophy of Mahatma Gandhi, who together with his followers were able to bring the powerful British Empire to it’s knees.
I am not suggesting that you stereotype your teenager as like the British Empire. Indeed your teenager may even view you the parent as a kind of ‘British Empire’ who is taking away their independence.
What is valuable in this analogy, which is applicable to the parent teenager relationship, is the method by which Gandhi and his supporters were able to get the soldiers to relent and stop fighting them.
The method has been termed non violent resistance and can be effectively applied in your parent teenager relationship.
Whenever you face aggression from your teenager you can decide right there and then that you will always meet it with love and peace. By doing this consistently over a period of time, love will always win out.
Are you worn out fighting with your teen? Are you fed up with your teen’s constant back chat and bad attitude? If so, despair no more. Parenting expert, Paul Saver, has released seven FREE parenting videos that are created to save and even transform your parent teen relationship . Just click on the link.
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